New Press Secretary to Just Be Picture of Scott Jennings Doing That Face
“We love what Scott’s face brings to the table,” said President Trump, making the announcement.
America Descends Into Mourning Upon News That Harry and Meghan Are Leaving
Citizens wept openly in the streets, wondering how America would be able to carry on without the charming couple.
DeSantis Explains to Newsom Secret to Counting Ballots in One Night Is Not Committing Fraud
“You’d be shocked at how easy it actually is without all the fraud,” DeSantis reportedly said.
Trump Claims Strait of Hormuz for U.S., Unveils Floating Golf Course
Sources reported that Trump had tentatively named the resort “Mar-a-Hormuz.”
Kentucky Derby Convenes Committee to Determine What Is a Horse
“Is a horse a man? Is a horse a badger? These are just some of the questions we will be deliberating.”
Karoline Leavitt Prepared for Motherhood After Spending Last Two Years Answering Millions of Stupid Questions
Family experts predict the transition will be seamless.
WNBA Brings in Revered Supreme Court Justice to Help Determine What a Woman Is
“Can I provide a definition? No, no I cannot. At least not in this context. I am not a biologist.”
Florida Credits Record-Low Crime Rate to Having Chased Away All the Democrats
“Every Democrat who moves out of the state brings us closer to a better, brighter Florida.”
Inspired by AOC, James Talarico Also Elects to Have His Eggs Frozen
“This is a personal decision that every egg-producing person must make for themselves.”
Top 10 Reasons to Move to California
Thousands of hospices to choose from: All within a one-mile radius. Incredible.
Bigotry Rears Ugly Head as WNBA Refuses to Allow This Stunning, Beautiful Woman Into League
“When will the hate and exclusion end?”
Senate Joins Rest of Nation in Holding Fauci in Contempt
The Senate Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs Committee is only now arriving at what many American citizens said they’ve felt for a long time.
James Talarico Tells Us His 9 Favorite Bible Verses
Thank you, Mr. Talarico, for sharing your journey through Scripture with us.
WNBA Coaches Stumped as to What the ‘W’ Stands For
“There’s just no way to know. In fact, we suspect it might just be one of those things that literally can’t be known.”
Spain Turns to Experienced Border Czar Kamala Harris for Help With Migrant Invasion
“No one is more experienced with violent migrant surges like this. Kamala will know how to handle this.”
Top Opinion
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Gary Bauer Wannabe Bomber Busted, but Bigger Battle Remains
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Tony Perkins For a Skeptical U.S. Electorate, Decisive Action on Iran Is a Must
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Rich Lowry Don’t Fear Flock Cameras
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The Washington Stand James Talarico: ‘God Is Not a Christian’
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Guest Essay A Return to Virtue Will Make America Stronger Than Ever
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The Babylon Bee New Press Secretary to Just Be Picture of Scott Jennings Doing That Face
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Erick Erickson The Data Center Opposition Is Bipartisan
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Josh Hammer Florida Is the New Ground Zero for Both Political Parties’ Civil Wars
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